06 October 2014

If We Were Having Coffee

I just saw Jamie at The Perpetual Page Turner doing this, and remember a while back Addison over at Of Spectacles and Books also did it, as did Amanda, and I remember when I saw her post then that I wanted to try this at some point. So, since it seems to be a thing everyone is getting in on, and since I’ve been gone for a little while this is a perfect way to catch up.

 

If we were having coffee… I would tell you about how I read A Little Something Different and absolutely loved it and try and force it upon you in anyway possible. It would be brought up repeatedly in conversation until you realised that, actually, this is a book you have wanted to read all along. Because that’s what I do with my friends, force them to read books I like, buying them as gifts at birthdays and holidays because you must read things always.

 

If we were having coffee… I would tell you how embarrassed I am at my current TV viewing habits, I now watch Eastenders and X-Factor! X-Factor was bad enough TV viewing because none of the judges really know what they’re talking about, they’re only in it for the money, but yet it’s mandatory viewing each weekend, I even record it in case I’m out. Eastenders though, that is a big embarrassment, I’ve never really been a soap watcher, there was a phase of me watching Hollyoaks when I was at uni, but I also watched Jeremy Kyle at uni, so I don’t feel that can really reflect accurately upon me as a person. Eastenders has Danny Dyer in being hilarious and I’ve started rooting for Shirley and booing at Sharon and I’m getting really into it, it’s weird.

 

If we were having coffee… I’d tell you my poor TV viewing habits can be redeemed by the fact I am also watching The Leftovers and Legends on TV, so I am not a complete TV embarrassment, just a small one. I would also tell you all about these TV shows to get you to watch them, because as well as being a book pusher, I’m a TV show pusher as well.

 

If we were having coffee… I would get serious as well and tell you that I’m really beginning to not enjoy my job. It’s never been something I loved, but I didn’t mind being there each day. I knew what my job involved and I did it, but there have been changes at work in the past couple of months. People have left, some have been or will be replaced, but one on our team hasn’t been, so our work load has increased. I don’t mind the extra work, that’s not the issue, the issue is that there doesn’t seem to be any appreciation that we are having to do more work, there is no offer of any extra benefits or a pay rise, we just have to do it because it’s a job that has to be done and we’re the only ones able to. It’s the fact that others teams in our department are struggling, just like we are, but as they’re struggling we’re being asked to train in their jobs and help them do their work, whilst I’m left wondering where’s the assistance for us, we’re struggling too why isn’t this going both ways? We’re being asked to help with others peoples jobs, but I know when it gets to the end of the month the managers will be asking why we’re behind in our work for the month and all we’ll be able to say is that we’ve been asked to do other jobs, we can’t be in three places at once. Sorry, this has been a bit of a rant and I could go on longer, but you get the idea, right? Work is getting me down because I feel underappreciated.

 

If we were having coffee… I’d tell you I don’t know what I want to be doing in life and it’s scary. I’m 23 and I have a degree but I don’t think I want a career where I will be continually climbing the ladder trying to get higher and get more money and responsibility. I want to work somewhere I clock in on a morning, do my job, have a couple of people I can chat with and have a laugh with whilst doing it, then clock out at the end of the day and not think about it again until I’m back the next day. I know that’s very uninspiring, I have myself a degree which I am doing nothing with, but that’s my choice isn’t it? When I tell people that though, they’re surprised, shouldn’t I be in a graduate position managing people and earning £30000 a year plus benefits? The idea of doing something like that terrifies me and makes me a bit sick, I don’t understand why there is this expectation for people to get educated and get a career. There’s more to life than money and a job, but sometimes I feel like I’m not even getting that right.

 

If we were having coffee… I’d tell you I’m scared my blog might not last the year. Since I went away on holiday and then with my internet going down I’ve had a month off from blogging and I’m finding it hard to get back into the swing of things. With things annoying me at work I’ve certainly been less motivated to blog, and with the internet being down I’ve obviously been no where near my computer in about three or four weeks, so all in all it’s been a bad month of blogging with September being a none blogging month essentially.I know once I start getting back into some kind of blogging routine I should be fine, but I’m not known for persevering with things so I do sometimes worry one day I’ll stop blogging because I feel a bit unmotivated and then just never come back.

 

If we were having coffee… I’d tell you I’m scared of growing up. I know I’m only 23 so it’s not like I’m a real adult or anything, I mean I still live at home with my mom, not very grown up is it? Last week one of my friends was talking about the future and about moving out and she was talking to me about how her and her boyfriend were saving for a house and she was thinking about mortgages and real grown up things and it terrified me. I can’t afford to move out, I’m saving to, but I know with the job I have now I earn no where near enough money to qualify for any kind of decent mortgage and that scares me. I’m scared that I’m even thinking about mortgages and having to get a better paying job to support myself, because I don’t want to be that person. I’m only thinking of getting a better job so I have more money. Money to buy a house with, because that’s what is expected, but I don’t even know what I want to do in life. I might want to travel, because I’ve never been anywhere really. I want to experience things before I have to be tied down to paying a mortgage and owning a hose, but I can’t save to travel and move out at the same time because of money. And that’s worse, everything is coming down to money at the moment, and I hate that and don’t know how to get out of that frame of mind.

 

If we were having coffee… I would tell you how I hate being so serious and just want to have a little fun. I’d tell you how I sometimes feel like I’ve skipped a few years, I didn’t embrace being a teenager and my early twenties enough and don’t feel like I’ve experienced all the things you meant to have at this point in my life. I’d tell you how I want to let my hair down and have fun but I feel like I forgot how. I’d also tell you that I enjoy being me, and like sitting in my pyjamas being lazy after work, but it sometimes feel like I should be doing more with my life, but I’m happy so I shouldn’t beat myself up.

 

If we were having coffee… I’d ask you how things are with you, because after that therapeutic rant you should get the chance to air your problems too. How are things with you? Have you read a good book recently? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

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