Wow, it’s been a little while since I’ve done one of these. I disappeared a little there, didn’t I? Life got tough and the blog motivation was not there. I took some time for me and I feel better for it. It does mean I’m behind on everything and things I planned to do have fallen by the wayside but whatever, I have nothing but time.
First off, I don’t want to avoid the elephant in the room. My absence did coincide with protests and marches around the world for Black Lives Matter. Sign petitions, donate, and educate yourself where necessary. That's what I’ve been doing. I obviously knew my school education was lacking but you don’t realise the extent when you see how much history is ignored and whitewashed. It’s good to see protests on my timeline still and to see people are still talking because this won’t go away overnight. Sadly, here in the UK, there are still plenty of folks on my Facebook feed shouting about All Lives Matter and how the protests are violent and then praising counter-protesters for protecting statue. Crazy that some people place the safety of statues over the need for actual equality in the UK, but these are the same people who seem to think there is equality already. These are probably the same people who complain there are too many women in a film when they are given 50% screen time and 50% of the lines to read. I won’t rant, I just wrote this post without mentioning it and it didn’t feel right. It’s part of why I dropped off from blogging, bigger things in the world than talking about my problems.
If it wasn’t enough that people were having to leave the house to protest during a pandemic, then JK Rowling creeps on out the woodwork doubling down on her anti-trans views. I read her statement where she tried to justify her beliefs and it was awful. The worst part is she tried to use her past as a survivor of domestic abuse as an excuse, and the gain sympathy. I’m proud she managed to do what many can’t and escaped the situation with her daughter, that’s amazing, but it’s no excuse to deny to trans-rights. I read an excellent Twitter thread disputing her claims which was good to see as if you aren’t educated on trans issues then you might have been swayed by some of her arguments. It’s disappointing to see authors you love let you down with their hate but I suppose I can save money not buying her books now.
Now we’ve got some of those rage-inducing issues addressed now on to my actual life. Sadly, real life has been just as rage-inducing. Let’s talk about why I stopped blogging.
I’ve been working all through lockdown. My company got an app installed on my phone and sent me off to work on my own laptop with my own mobile phone and work from home. It annoyed me when I saw them sending sales staff off with a new Chromebook and work phones, but I knew they needed to get them set up to take customer calls. Totally fine. I was happier working from home anyway. But then we had a conference call a couple of weeks back now where my whole department got told we might be at risk of redundancy. Not exactly the news you want on a workday, let me tell you productivity was down. We then got told this week we are definitely as risk and now must go through the consultation process. What this means, in reality, is we are definitely redundant as my company is making 478 staff redundant, I can’t see my little department being saved no matter how strong the arguments are we make during consultation. This means by the end of July I will be without a job (yes, I do have to keep working until then). As you can imagine, didn’t really fancy blogging after that.
I’ve spent a couple of weeks stressing because who wants to find a job during a pandemic when the UK economy has shrunk by 20%? I was stressing because now I have the house to pay for and it has been an all-around terrible time for me. I’ve had time to think it through, make plans, Google all redundancy rights (and ask my mom questions because I don’t know what half of them mean) and now I am feeling better about it. I have a plan, I know I can afford to not work for a while and if all else fails I’ll start marketing myself as a dog walker or something. I’ll be ok. But I needed the break from blogging to realise all this and come up with a plan of sorts. I just need it to be the end of July now so I can know for certain my job is gone and get paid that redundancy money.
Thankfully, all of this bad news coincided with the UK government deciding that this weekend some lockdown restrictions will be eased and single-person households (me) can form support bubbles with one other household (my mom) so now I can go to my mom’s and not have to sit 2m apart! It’s exciting times, it’s perfect because it’s my mom’s birthday today so I’m off to bother her all day and spend time with my dog! Milo will be putting a massive smile on my face and it’s nice I can spend actual time with my family without stressing.
God, sorry. Rambling catch up this time. I just had stuff I didn’t not want to talk about and then had life stuff. I’ve been a bit all over the place because I am a bit all over the place. I’m getting there. I find out for certain about my job at the end of July and I am not willing to stress about it before that. I will have fun and focus on me. I need it because lockdown is killing my mental health but it has also shown me I have some truly amazing friends I don’t appreciate enough.
What I’ve Been Reading
Books, they’ve not really been my priority. I’ve read some, but not as much. I’ve just been too tense to truly lose myself in my reads, even when they’re amazing. I think this is partially because I always have one ear listening out for my neighbour (they aren’t even doing anything but with the poorly built walls and the fact they have kids they always shout at I’ve been a little on edge about noise. I’m trying white noise and am trying to get out of the house more because being stuck indoors hasn’t helped). Anyway, a combination of neighbourly noise and my head being very much focused on money I’ve not been able to properly chill with a book. Not even when I ran my very first bath in the house (it’s a very nice bath and my bath bomb made the water all glittery which then made my skin all glittery, I totally had a Twilight moment after that bath and I wasn’t even mad about it)! But I am still reading and hopefully, I’ll manage to relax with a good book soon. I just need to learn how to chill again, if only the world would give me a break.
Anyway, the books I have read I’ve enjoyed every one. I had some issues with The Boyfriend Project but I am definitely excited for the next book in that series as I do think it was a me issue. Eeny Meeny was also a bit of a middling read. I think it was the writing style, it was alright but didn’t totally grip me. Queenie, The Sun Down Motel and Something to Talk About were all winners, though. If I can get in the right headspace I will talk about them next week. I’d write a post today (because yes, I am writing this Sunday) but I’m off to my mom’s in a bit to maybe make her cupcakes for her birthday… she’s diabetic though so not my best shout.
New To Me
Unfortunately, me losing my reading mojo coincides with plenty of new book purchases. Empire of Gold was a preorder, but the rest are me having no self-control. In fact, The City We Became was bought after I found out about my job. I was angry and the Waterstones signed edition with the pink sprayed edges was in stock and I bought it. I shouldn’t have done but I can’t even be mad at myself, that book looks stunning on my shelf and I did want to read it. I have now got to be serious about my spending for obvious reasons. Maybe I really will clear my shelves by the end of the year if the job hunt is slow? Got to be positive about these things, right?
It wasn’t just book purchases, look at these ARCS! They’re so pretty but why do I do this to myself? I cannot wait to start reading them… I mean I’ve already read one, but I’m excited for the rest and the ones I already have. Honestly, I am looking forward to some time to read because if I can get my head back in the reading game I have a whole bunch of good books lined up.
What’s been happening while I’ve been away? Tell me your life news and what I should be reading next (or after I read the next Psy-Changeling book which is most definitely my next read). Now I’m off to bake cupcakes, fun times.
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