I wasn't sure I was going to bring back my weekly post but you guys said you liked the life stuff (and I secretly love hearing about everyone else's lives when I visit your blogs) so it seemed like a no brainer to have my Sunday posts return. Will I always do them weekly? Who knows, I'm taking blogging one step at a time, I currently have no posts finished and schedule for next week so it could be I post nothing after this, or I could be inspired and finish 5 posts this afternoon. I see where the blogging winds take me.

Listening

First up, the soundtrack to my life is currently Halsey's latest album. I try and throw in other songs now and again as I do have an indie/chill playlist I like to listen to on an evening when I'm reading before bed (or, as it usually goes, when I'm playing Homescapes before bed). But I always like to have music for when I'm doing housework or out for a walk and Halsey is my current chosen soundtrack.

Life

I haven't exactly done a lot lately. My weekdays are usually filled with work followed by spending the evening at my mom's watching TV and generally getting in some socialisation since I often won't speak to anyone during work hours. It's a routine but evenings did also used to be blog time, I am attempting to develop a new routine. It’s strange how quickly I changed my routine during my blogging break but trying to change it back feels like some kind of uphill struggle. I’ll get there.

Apart from work the only other thing which has really been taking up my attention is various stuff with my solicitor. I didn't talk about it before, but you guys said to unload my life drama (not that I really view it as drama anymore) but I am moving house.

'You've only been living in your house for like a year though' I hear you all cry (unless you don't remember, because why would you recall the ins and outs of my day to day life?) and if you do remember then you may be wondering why I am moving again. The thing is, I got this house December 2019 and fully moved in just a month before the pandemic hit fully in the UK in March 2020. I was forced to learn very quickly how to live alone and get used to spending copious time alone in a short space of time. It was not my favourite thing to do because I was spending all day every day alone. Phone calls and video chats were all well and good but talking to someone in person wins every time. I would go days without saying a word to anyone but myself, and even talking to myself lost it’s appeal when I realised my walls with my neighbour weren’t the best. I would have managed to cope with being alone better, but then I began to have issues with one of my neighbours. Nothing major, I wasn't calling the police or anything like that. But I think the small everyday things were worse, at least if we had a blazing row in the street my dislike of her would feel more justified. But, as I said, the walls aren’t the best  in my house and so I found myself gradually getting frustrated at all the everyday noise. From heavy bass music during the day while I'm working, to her shouting at her kids throughout the day and them very blatantly ignoring her. I learnt their bed time and bed time routine and have since learnt that bed time is not complete for them if she doesn’t have to shout at least once for them to get to bed from the living room. That combined with me getting frustrated at all the little things I knew I didn't like about the house but thought would be a minor issue left me deciding that after 18 months my house was going back up for sale and I would move elsewhere.

I know that the past 18 months are not a reflection of how things will be forever, but I also know that there was no redeeming this house in my eyes. I never want to be here and I am constantly on edge when it comes to noise, something I never used to worry about. I now know the wonders of white noise to help me relax and sleep and know the best type of earplugs to help me block out noise. These are things you shouldn't really need to look into just so you can work and sleep and live in your own home. I have worked from every room of my house (apart from the toilet) just to have a change of scenery. And I have even befriended one of the delivery drivers who stops by because I was that desperate for some human interaction! I can honestly say I hate my house and can't wait to see the back of it. My next house isn't perfect, either. But I think the difference is it's a new start and fixes the things I've strongly disliked about this one. I know I won't be able to choose my neighbours at the next house either, I may hate them or we might be best of friends. But I have worried more about the things I can control, like a bigger living room and a bed room with a built in wardrobe space. It will need way more work to decorate (which I know I hate) but I look forward to something new. Here's hoping attempt two is better because I am not spending more of my savings moving any time soon.

Wow, I didn't expect that little rant.

The only other thing going on lately? I went to a gig last Sunday to watch a Fleetwood Mac tribute band and it was honestly so much fun to do something slightly normal again. I had a great time, although me and my friend were apparently talking too much and someone sat behind us tapped us on our shoulder to say 'we paid to listen to the band not you talk'. I didn't think we were being overly loud as we could hear the band just fine but it definitely put a slight dampener on things for us as we had already said we'd have to remain sat down as the gig was all seated and no one was up dancing along so we didn't want to block anyone's view. Everyone wants to go out and enjoy music in different ways I suppose. It definitely wasn't like any gig I'd been to before but I attributed some of that to the current situation as everyone was trying to stay within their own bubble, but who knows. I also went to a friends for some drinks and a takeaway Friday night and I always appreciate doing those normal things more now. Even if I have to keep doing regular lateral flow tests to make sure I'm testing negative before going out and being social, I'd rather that than being at home alone.

Reading

I wasn't sure how many books to feature here because you haven't seen me all year but I'm not listing 67 books for you. I don't have the patience to link all those up and you probably don't want to scroll through that. Instead I'll list all the Kate Daniels books I've read so far because that has been my reading for the past 2 weeks. I will finish the whole series soon! I forgot how much I enjoy Ilona Andrews books, and it also reminded me that I should reread way more. What's the point of claiming to love books when you're always forcing yourself to read something new? I love the comfort of returning to the familiar because it reminds you why you love a book and makes you want to tell everyone about it all over again.

New To Me

Again, I will not list every purchase I've made. I'd be embarrassed to see it and I don't need the book buying judgement. I have managed to restrain myself, a couple of freebies, including a Kindle First book (which I usually don't get, but sometimes a book grabs my attention). I also bought physical copies of the Graceling series because I actually love the new covers they have been released with to match Winterkeep. I really shouldn't buy more books when I have 3 giant boxes of them I need to move to my new house but I'm allowed to indulge myself occasionally. Also, before anyone asks (I’m looking at you Vera) no, I have not yet actually read to the last book in the main PsyChangeling series, but it dropped in price so I had to buy. I will get to the final 3 (or is it 4?) books and finish the series because I do want to read the new series from that. My brain just isn’t cooperating with that plan.

What have you guys been up to this week? Have you started to try and do some more normal things yet and if so, did it feel weird? What have you been reading recently?

I wasn't sure where to start with my return to blogging. What should I talk about when my reading is a little all over the place and I am struggling to find my feet with reviews? I’ve not been visiting other blogs so writing a discussion post seemed weird and reviews are difficult. But then I realised I did have an idea of what to write based on something I tweeted when I was struggling with figuring out what to read:

I know that it sounds ridiculous, the idea of using a random number generator to pick what to read but it also helped to relieve the pressure of reading. I think any reader can understand that there is a certain sense of pressure about choosing your next book. I hate it and it’s why I so often fall into a reading slump after reading a really good books because I feel that pressure to find another book just as good. I don’t think it helps that I am such a big mood reader. It was actually inspired by the fact that I had picked up and put down about 6 other books without being able to get into reading them. I was certain I was in the mood to read fantasy but all of the fantasy books I was trying just weren’t what my brain was looking for. I was starting to despair a little and wished I could just choose a book at random and then I realised I could.

How does it work?

The idea was simple, inspired by the way I often create Sims (I won’t explain that, because I’m sure most of you aren’t interested). I had intended to do it using my Goodreads shelves but I’ve not kept that up to date during my blogging breaks. I then thought maybe I could up date my physical and Kindle books on there, but my physical books are getting packed into boxes and I don’t really want to drag them out. I’ve been trying to cull them before my move and it’s difficult. Instead, I decided to do it simply using my unread Kindle books, especially as I have 400+ unread books to tackle for various reasons (we aren’t hear to talk about my shopping problems). It helps that choosing from my Kindle was far easier. I simply use a random number generator to choose a page on my Kindle, so for me I generate a number between 1 to 75. There are then 6 books on a page and I generate another number to choose which to read. It’s simple but effective because it led to me reading 4 very different books. Or trying to read them, as the case may be. It’s essentially a book jar with less writing and hand cramp on my part.

Why am I creating a whole post to explain a very simple concept? Because it also gives me the chance to say if it worked or not. I’ll explain if it was a good read, bad read, removed it from my TBR pile read.

The first book chosen by this method was:

The Broken Girls - Simone St James

Published: 20th March 2018

Source: Purchased

Genre: Mystery, thriller, horror

My Rating: DNF

A breakout suspense novel from the award-winning author of The Haunting of Maddy Clare.
Vermont, 1950. There's a place for the girls whom no one wants--the troublemakers, the illegitimate, the too smart for their own good. It's called Idlewild Hall. And in the small town where it's located, there are rumors that the boarding school is haunted. Four roommates bond over their whispered fears, their budding friendship blossoming--until one of them mysteriously disappears. . . .
Vermont, 2014. As much as she's tried, journalist Fiona Sheridan cannot stop revisiting the events surrounding her older sister's death. Twenty years ago, her body was found lying in the overgrown fields near the ruins of Idlewild Hall. And though her sister's boyfriend was tried and convicted of murder, Fiona can't shake the suspicion that something was never right about the case.
When Fiona discovers that Idlewild Hall is being restored by an anonymous benefactor, she decides to write a story about it. But a shocking discovery during the renovations will link the loss of her sister to secrets that were meant to stay hidden in the past--and a voice that won't be silenced. . . .

When I began this method of reading I was convinced I was in the mood for reading fantasy so this horror/thriller book was not what I expected to pick up to read next. I’d read another book from Simone St James last year and enjoyed it. I thought it was an excellent choice, not fantasy as I expected, but something different which would hook me in. When I first started reading, I liked it and I thought I could grow to be intrigued about the school and what happened to Fiona’s sister. But I became frustrated that when the book moved to the past I was seeing different perspectives. I always struggle with different POV in books and I think the fact I started reading then took a break and slept on it so early on in the story meant I could never truly get hooked on the plot. I hadn’t developed the connection to the characters and the proper investment in the story before taking my break from reading and that is a strong motivator for me reading. I need to feel invested.

Sadly, the book failed to capture that spark of interest I thought had been there when I first picked it up. I found myself constantly distracted when reading until eventually I DNFed it and placed it on my ‘abandoned books’ shelf on my Kindle. I think I was 20% of the way in and I just couldn’t get hooked and it was disappointing because I was genuinely excited to read it and I know I’m the odd one out looking at the positive reviews. I might have loved it if I had only found it at a different time, but the plot didn’t intrigue me enough to speed read through and that is a sign that I probably wouldn’t have loved the book, but simply liked it.

The Friend Zone (Game On #2) - Kristen Callihan

Published: 5th May 2015

Source: Purchased

Genre: Contemporary romance, sports romance

My Rating: DNF

Gray doesn’t make friends with women. He has sex with them. Until Ivy.
The last thing star tight-end Gray Grayson wants to do is drive his agent’s daughter’s bubblegum pink car. But he needs the wheels and she’s studying abroad. Something he explains when she sends him an irate text to let him know exactly how much pain she’ll put him in if he crashes her beloved ride. Before he knows it, Ivy Mackenzie has become his best texting bud. But then Ivy comes home and everything goes haywire. Because the only thing Gray can think of is being with Ivy.
Ivy doesn’t have sex with friends. Especially not with a certain football player. No matter how hot he makes her…
Gray drives Ivy crazy. He’s irreverent, sex on a stick, and completely off limits. Because, Ivy has one golden rule: never get involved with one of her father’s clients. A rule that’s proving harder to keep now that Gray is doing his best to seduce her. Her best friend is fast becoming the most irresistible guy she’s ever met.
Which means Gray is going to have to use all his skills to win Ivy’s heart. Game on.

I remember struggling with the first book in this Game On series (which is probably why I didn’t continue) and so it came as no surprise that the same thing happened here. To be fair, I’ve not been in the mood to read romance books for a while (I know, who even am I?) so it seemed obvious I’d struggle with this one. I’m happy to read romance, but contemporary romance? It’s not what I’m looking for right now and so the cards were stacked against this one. But I gave it a chance because I’d vowed to try and read whatever the random number generator threw up and I liked the concept of the couple, Gray and Ivy, exchanging texts before meeting. But the writing style and the characters and the plot, none of it was clicking. I just didn’t care about who any of them were, and maybe if I remembered the first books better I would have been more interested as I would have been seeing characters I’d met before. But I couldn’t remember a single one and I didn’t care to find out more about them.

I’d stupidly bought three books in this series before ever finishing the first one. I try not to do that so much any more, but I’ve still the third book on my Kindle. I do think that was the book I was most interested in reading but I am committed to reading a series from the start. In this case, it was probably a mistake. This soon was placed on my abandoned books list but I will try and read the next book and see If I like it.

The Duke Who Didn’t (Wedgeford Trials #1) - Courtney Milan

Published: 22nd September 2020

Source: Purchased

Genre: Historical Romance

My Rating:

Miss Chloe Fong has plans for her life, lists for her days, and absolutely no time for nonsense. Three years ago, she told her childhood sweetheart that he could talk to her once he planned to be serious. He disappeared that very night.
Except now he’s back. Jeremy Wentworth, the Duke of Lansing, has returned to the tiny village he once visited with the hope of wooing Chloe. In his defense, it took him years of attempting to be serious to realize that the endeavor was incompatible with his personality.
All he has to do is convince Chloe to make room for a mischievous trickster in her life, then disclose that in all the years they’ve known each other, he’s failed to mention his real name, his title… and the minor fact that he owns her entire village.
Only one thing can go wrong: Everything.

I like Courtney Milan’s books so I impulse bought this one when it was on offer at some point this year. I was pleased when this one came up on random selection. Some books you know you want to read but just need a little push to actually pick up and I thought this was one of them. I thought Chloe and Jeremy were both going to steal my heart and sweep me away and I’d be ready to throw this book at everyone to read.

That didn’t happen.

I want to say that this book is not a bad book, I think on another day I would have fallen in love and been swept away but my mood just wasn’t quote right. I found myself frustrated reading from Chloe’s perspective sometimes. She was so regimented and controlled, which was fantastic, but made it difficult to connect with her. In theory, I should adore her because she is this fantastic, strong woman who knows her mind and is determined and confident in herself. That is fabulous. But reading from her perspective made her seem cold. At least, at the start. It was from Jeremy’s perspective I truly grew to love her. He didn’t see her as cold but reserved, but also fiercely protective of those she allowed close. He saw all the best parts of her and I loved to see that.

I forced myself to finish this one and that could have been a mistake on my part. I should have put it on hold to another day when it fitted my reading mood better. But I worried that I might not pick it up again. I liked it once I finished. I grew to love Chloe (as I expected) and I loved Jeremy and I would say check this out. I might reread it again when I’m in a better mood for it and I’m sure my rating will change.

One Night With the Sexiest Man Alive (The One #1) - Ainslie Paton

Published: 27th February 2020

Source: Purchased

Genre: Contemporary Romance

My Rating:

Haydn Delany’s Hollywood star shone so brightly, even being the manager of an event he was headlining didn’t ensure Teela Carpenter would get the chance to meet him, and she was fine with that. Really, fine. Okay, it was hugely disappointing not to meet the much-admired actor come activist dubbed the Sexist Man Alive.
Until Haydn appeared inexplicably on the balcony where she stood, kissed her hand and gave her a story to dine out on for years.
That was before a raging tropical thunderstorm, an annoying car accident and ruined shoes put him in her path again. This time as her white knight.
And a one-night stand that might just last forever.

This was the fourth try (fourth times the charm?) and I knew I was on to a winner as soon as I picked it up. Why didn’t I try this book from the start? I adore Ainslie Paton’s writing. I don’t think she has written a book I haven’t loved, I even count a few of her books as my all time favourites. Why is she not more well known and appreciated?

This was a quick easy read and I was hooked from the start. The characters were amazing, the sex was steamy and I was fully invested in the HEA. I am not normally a huge fan of celebrity romances. I’ve read some good ones but I go in wary because I don’t want it to be like those Wattpad fanfics that are pure cheese, you know? This was not that. Haydn was the sexy actor in Australia for a weekend (I totally pictured a younger George Clooney crossed with someone like Chris Evans. You know, like a clean cut sexy actor but with that charisma George Clooney has) and Teela was the smart, totally competent woman running her own business who caught his eye. They meet following an event that Teela helped to plan, she thought she had missed her opportunity to meet him properly when she offered her seat at the event to someone else because she knows that these events should be planned well and that the guests there are the priority. So when she meets him on a balcony that evening it’s pure chance. There was an obvious spark and they should never have met again. A car accident (nobody was hurt) and a storm later and they’re having a one night stand that lasts a whole weekend and fall in love. I loved that Teela took none of Haydn’s slick shit and was like stop putting on an act and charming me and just be real FFS and then he was ready to worship her whole body because he could see that was what she deserved, any man who didn’t realise it was a fool.

I was so happy the final book I’d randomly selected the final time turned out to be such a winner because I honestly thought it was going to be a fail of an idea. I would never have chosen any of these books to read if it weren’t for the random number generator. Partially because I forgot I owned some of them, but also because I didn’t think I was in the mood to read any of them. And some of them I wasn’t but I persisted, but it shows that sometimes the lucky dip is needed to clear out the junk and also to force you to pick up books you might otherwise avoid. It’s fun and next time I’m stumped on what to read I will definitely be doing this again. This may even be a new feature post where you get to see how much I don’t know what I want to read at any given moment in time.

Do you have fun ways of deciding what to read when you’re feeling a bit stuck? Have I inspired you to give my method a shot for when staring at your shelves for 2 hours just isn’t an efficient use of your time?

I never used to be able to understand how some of my favourite bloggers seemed to disappear off of the face of the earth. It seemed strange they had merrily been blogging away one day and then had an unexpected hiatus only to return 6 months later apologising for their absence and giving us a brief catch up on their lives or giving us an explanation as to why they had decided to give up blogging altogether. Those were the good ones, there were always some who simply disappeared with no explanation. Those ones hurt more because you always worry it was something bad and not in fact just them losing interest. I didn't expect to be one of those bloggers, yet here we are.

I’m going to be honest, I never expected to stick it out with blogging. I started my blog on impulse after visiting some really good ones at the end of university. I was 21, jobless and could finally enjoy reading again because I wasn't required to read pages of dry historical text. I began with The Hunger Games and Divergent and that whole wave of dystopian YA books which were coming out. I then slowly drifted to some contemporary YA and a lot of sci-fi and fantasy stuff. I didn't take up blogging then, though. It took another year or two of me starting working my second job and feeling a bit lost. I loved reading but never had anyone to talk books with and then it clicked, I should start a blog. The internet has always been the place I've turned to for pretty much everything so why can't it solve my book problems too? It certainly got me into reading again (although I'd never stopped buying books). I thought it wouldn't last. I have a short attention span and commitment issues, yet here we are. My blog is 7 years old and I've had it longer than a lot of good relationships last. But it has been neglected lately and I did worry I was losing interest, I still worry I am. But I miss the social side even if the admin and boring parts of blogging fill me with dread (I'm looking at you post formatting and general blog upkeep).

I've drafted about a dozen 'I'm back' type posts over the past few months. I have wanted to return but the longer I wait the more awkward I feel about it. It's like when you meet new people and forget someone's name. The longer you wait to ask them to remind you the more awkward it is to admit you don't know. It's part of why I've not really even been visiting blogs (although I do keep trying and so you will have seen my name about) I just feel like everyone has been hanging out without me while I've been gone. Hell, a lot of people who used to always be on my blog feed have disappeared off too. I guess I wasn't the only one struggling with blogging during a global pandemic. How crazy and unexpected.

I am back now, I won't be following a set schedule of posting, I don't even have a good reading routine in place right now let alone a routine for blogging. My life revolves around work, sleep, and walking to my mom's to avoid being at home. I suppose I have life stuff to fill you in on but it kind of feels awkward to just throw it all at you when I've not been around lately. I don't want to be that friend you haven't seen in years who unloads all of their life drama on you as soon as you see each other again. It's boring and a little needy and I guess I don't want to make it all about me. But then, I suppose starting a blog kind of makes you the central focus? Maybe, I secretly like the attention? I don't know, life can be discussed at a later date if you really want the details I guess?

I will sy it hasn’t been all doom and gloom around here. Yes, I do probably over work and need a better work/life balance, but my managers also recognise the work I’m doing and I’m being supported so I may need to take more annual leave but they are reminding me of that fact too so I avoid burn out. And now restrictions have eased again (potentially too soon, but we will see what comes of it in a few months) I am seeing friends and getting out of the house. I have been on trips to Birmingham and Ludlow and had fun adventures outdoors which aren’t in my back garden. I’m also now fully vaccinated and can feel comforted that I have that extra layer of protection even if there is no guarantee of how long it lasts, I have done all I can to protect myself and those around me outside of wearing a face mask.

Well, we can have a catch up later. Until then this rambling post will serve as my 'I'm still alive post' and as a warning that there are more posts to come. I have missed using my brain for anything other than work and the occasional sudoku puzzle.

So what have I missed? What are your favourite books of the year so far? Have you discovered a new favourite blogger or 5 you think I should check out? And how are you all coping with things, feel free to unload on my like I haven't with you guys.

What a year, am I right? I think we can all agree that 2020 was not a favourite year for many. It was long and arduous and in March I was very concerned it would never end, so I was shocked when the year flew by and we ended up in 2021 without me even noticing. I’ve never been so excited about the end of a year! But I’ve vowed not to dwell on the negatives because we were all there and while we can joke about it the negatives will just bring me down. I don’t want to think about covid, Brexit, the election, or any of the multitude of negative things we suffered through this year. I remind myself this year definitely wasn’t all bad and this post will remind myself of that fact.

I sat struggling to figure out how to look back on a year when there has been so much to complain about. Normally I would talk about the highlights, places I’d been and things I’d done along with reading and TV. But this year I’ve not been able to go anywhere. I’ve spent too much time at home and built up a deep resentment for my new house. But then I remembered no one else has done all that much either so let’s compare notes. Did you spend as much time watching TV as me? Did you get as obsessed with the Taylor Swift albums as I did?

Music

I would normally create a whole playlist for you talking about all of my favourite music of the year… but I honestly can’t do that when my year has been taken up with 2 albums from Taylor Swift. I know I listened to other music before the surprise drop of Folklore but I honestly can’t recall what. Folklore and Evermore were all I listened to for the second half of the year. I have not been so obsessed with 2 albums in so long. I think I can safely say Taylor Swift will be my most played artist in next year’s Spotify wrapped as well, and we’ve only just started 2021.

Podcasts

I am not a huge podcast listener. Before 2020 I listened to just a couple of podcasts when I was in the mood, but even then I skipped episodes often. Thanks to Vera I got very obsessed with The Magnus Archives. I listened to it through lockdown, during the stress of possibly losing my job. I can’t listen to as many podcasts now (turns out my new job requires my full attention unlike my last one) but The Magnus Archives, Louis Theroux’s Grounded and David Tennant Does a Podcast helped keep me entertained during the long hours of working from home. It was almost like having company. But it does mean I’ll be bereft in 2021 when the final season of The Magnus Archives airs because what will I listen to then?

TV

2020 will forever be remembered as the year I watched way too much TV and didn’t need to feel guilty about it because so did everyone else. I used to talk to my friends about what we’d been up to at work, in life, with our families. In 2020 we texted each other about what shows we had to watch and showed off about how many episodes we fit into one day. You watched all of season 1 in one day? Puh-lease, I watched that and sacrificed sleep to start season 2 because did you see that cliffhanger? I did do a lot of rewatching as well, because anxiety levels were high and there is nothing better than diving into the familiar.

I won’t go into detail about all of the shows I loved this year because there a few, instead there’s a list with pretty pictures.

Umbrella Academy

Spinning Out (yes, this did in fact come out in 2020, but it was pre pandemic so feels like 50 years ago… also, I’m still not over it being cancelled)

Warrior (I thought I’d hate this show but it was so good)

Brassic (UK comedy that I loved last year and released a new season)

Schitt’s Creek

The Queen’s Gambit

Films

And that’s just TV shows, let’s not forget about the films I was watching throughout the year as well (turns out, not as many as I’d hoped simply because films don’t take up enough time in the long, long days I need to fill).

The Old Guard

Emma

Little Women

Books

My reading has been at a low for the past year or two. There have been slumps all over the place but even so I did read a few books I did love the past year. There weren’t as many new releases as I’d hoped to get to, but my life is always about my quest to get my bookshelves a little clearer and catch up on the backlog. But here are my highlights for 2020, I didn’t go into detail on anything else so I’ll just name the books for you. I’d link to my reviews but the year has been so hit and miss on blogging it’s more a case of what reviews?

The way I chose my favourites was simple, I went with the books I could distinctly remember, or remember enough of to know I enjoyed them anyway. They aren’t necessarily all really high rated reads for me, but that’s a whole other issue.

What were your highlights of 2020? I know it wasn’t a great year but I’m sure there was something which helped you make it through the year, so what book, show, film, album helped you survive?